CircusAfterDark.com presents Yankee Memorabilia
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Yankee Stadium Memorabilia!
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| Freeze dried so that it will last longer than A-Rod's contract, this tiny sliver of Bronx real estate will never default on its mortgage! |
 Low price $499 |
Item NYY203: The only precious items more holy than the beloved plants that cover the sacred ground that was encircled by the original "Baseball Cathedral in the Bronx," are those unique gift's of our God that actually touched the legendary athletes that wore our precious Yankee pinstripes. Many believe that the sunflower seeds chewed by superstar Reggie Jackson were the straw that stirred the Bombers' drink. Now you can own the Holy Grail of trail mix!
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| These authentic seed shells were extracted from turf in rightfield previously patrolled by number 44 himself, Angel Martinez "Reggie" Jackson. Every glass encased artifact has been DNA tested by special contract with the MLB! |
(photo not indicative of actual number of spent sunflower seed shells) |
Item NYY423: Pried from the saintly concrete walls that were a men's room in the original Yankee Stadium, this priestly piece of pinstripe plumbing can be yours. Many believe that merely standing in front of a sacred urinal with your fly open in the Holiest Shrine of Championship Greatness bestowed magical powers of fertility. (Thank God Jeter uses prophylatics.)
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Authentic Game Used |
| The legendary urinals from the men's room located down the rightfield line. This authentic Yankee Stadium artifact will bring back painful memories of that time you missed Tino Martinez's clutch homerun because you were stuck on line behind 47 other beer guzzling Yankee fans! |
| Low price $15,999 |
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Authentic Game Used | Authentic Game Used |
| For those fans on a budget (although our marketing guys swear that there aren't any of you), authentic Yankee Stadium urinal cakes! | For those fans on a budget (although our marketing guys swear that there aren't any of you), these soggy cigarette butts were found in a janitor closet in the original Yankee Stadium! |
| Low price $1,299 |
Low price $399 |
Item NYY1999: Many believe that Monument Park in the original Yankee Stadium was the finest collection of statuary in the galaxy. Unfortunately, because additional tables were needed in the Mohegan Sun Restaurant and Bar, and to make room for the new monument for Joba Chamberlain, some of the lesser legends had to be left out of the new Memorial Park. Miller Huggins may have been a great Yankee but current fans don't give a Red Sox's ass. Their ignorance is your pinstripe providence!
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Authentic Game Used |
| Authentic granite and bronze moument to the apparent Yankee great Miller Huggins. |
| Low price $1.3 million |
Item NYY557-SP: Every single human being alive today believes that the lips of our Fisherman of Wins, the Pinstriped Prince of Peace, Derek "Son of God" Jeter are two of the finest lumps of flesh ever created by the Eternal our God. Why should Jessica Alba be the only beneficiary of the Yankee Captain's viral shedding? Each gloriously inflamed papule and vesicle is authenticated and encapsulated in flawlessly clear lucite.
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Authentic Game Used Derek Jeter's Herpes Simplex Scabs and Sores |
| These freeze dried scabs have been scraped from the floor of St. Jeter's Basilica, the Living God's original locker in the old Yankee Stadium. |
| Low price $2.4 million |
Item NYY257-SP: Before the miraculous Number 2 there was Number 7 (not numerically, chronologically). You know, ol' Number 7, one of the M & M boys, the Commerce Comet, the Mick, no? "The magnificant Yankee, the great Number 7, Mickey Mantle." Never heard of him? You corporate, band-wagon-jumping Yankee fans suck.
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Authentic Mickey Mantle's |
| Ol' Number 7 used his fame to cheat the system and get an extra liver from some Ranger fan who 'kilt hisself' on a motorcycle, and then the Mick died a few months later anyway! He might have had the last laugh, but you can have his second-to-last liver. In its original pickled state, cannot be held in an open container in most states. |
| Low price $405,000 |
Item NYY152-SP: That lowdown, dirty, no good, Dodger, Tommy Lasorda once said, "There are three types of ballplayers, those that take greenies, those that should take greenies, and those that greenies would be wasted on." The beloved Yankees loved their beloved greenies.
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Authentic New York Yankee 55 Gallon Drum of Greenies |
| Found behind 400 cases of Red Bull in the old clubhouse, it was these actual greenies that allowed our championship champions to stay awake during those endless at bats by Bernie Williams. |
| Low price $17,000 |
Item NYY3190-SP: Marinated in the tears shed when 'Roider Clemens returned, these dust-balls were collected from under the same hallowed seat that hosted Mel Allen's Hall of Fame ass. Many believe that Suzyn ejected 1 or 2 every time Jeter put his Holy palm up to call for time in the batter's box and Waldman led the Yankee faithful in collective orgasm.
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Authentic Suzyn Waldman Cunt Bunnies Swimming in a Pool of Tears |
| Carefully extricated from the nearly fossilized Phil Rizzuto scrot-bunnies that they comingled with in the original broadcast booth, each pillow of pinstriped pubicity has been painstakenly authenticated. (Sea Monkeys no extra charge) |
| Low price $499 |
Item NYY10007-SP: Before the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown erects its new wing and snatches all these up for the 1990's displays, they are available to you at a low, discounted price. Not intended for reuse, these dirty needles still contain traces of performance enhancing drugs and the blood of our Saviours in Pinstripes.
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Authentic Game Used New York Yankee Steroid and HGH Syringes signed by Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez, Roger Clemens, Andy Petite, Kevin Brown, Jose Caneseco, Jason Grimsley, Felix Heredia, Glenallen Hill, David Justice, Chuck Knoblach, Denny Neagle, Gary Sheffield, Mike Stanton, Randy Velarde, Ron Villone and Rondell White. There may even be a Derek Jeter hidden away for the lucky Yankee fan. |
| Syringes with specific DNA can not be made available. This is a pot-luck, grab bag that is both random and confidential. |
| Low price $35,000 |
Item NYY1111-SP: Many believe that Alex Rodriguez, the greatest shortstop ever to play third base for the legendary New York Yankees, treats the rookies with a kindness befitting a saint. Buying them extravagant dinners, allowing them to gaze upon his miraculously metrosexualized body as he dresses and undresses, Alex always finds time for these young legends-to-be. Alex also continues the age-old, New York Yankee tradition, begun by Mickey Mantle himself, known only as the Rookie Dropping the Soap in The Shower Prank.
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Authentic After Game Used Bar of Soap |
| A case of these lightly scented bars of soap were removed from the catherdral rectory that was the Yankee clubhouse. Every bar is stamped with an official facsimile Alex Rodriguez autograph and is decorated with an original sticker commemorating A-Rod's near record shattering 10 RBI game on April 26, 2005 |
| Low price $250,000 |
Item NYY0005-SP: This huge pile of cash was found next to the abandoned bodies of Derek Jeter's friday night date in a dumpster near the player's parking lot at the original Yankee Stadium . Illegal contributions? Monies still owed Sterling Hitchcock? George Steinbrenner's pocket change? Your guess is at good as ours.
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Authentic Pile of Yankee Cash |
| Individually wrapped $100 bills will be date stamped and signed by V.P. Randy Levine. |
| Low price $5,000 |
Item NYY7371-SP: Many believe that George Steinbrenner is by far the greatest dick to have ever walked on the face of this or any other planet's surface. His massive, cosmos-encompassing dickness, larger than any other in recorded history, extended well beyond the world of sports. Illegal campaign contributions to his close friend and fellow dick, Richard Nixon and his attempts to disgrace his own player, Dave Winfield, rather than pay money to a charity as contractually required, are just two examples. When you think of dicks, you think of the Boss and now you can be the proud owner of adult diapers that have rested upon his actual dick.
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Authentic Game Used George Steinbrenner Pair of Depends |
| Don't let the spotting fool you, these aren't post-abortion worn protection from one of Jeter's many exes. Those are coming soon. That's just a little blood-staining from the ol' man's prostate. We have 100's of these, and if you're lucky you'll may get a 'special present' from George, like those he wore for games 4, 5, 6 and 7 of the '04 ALCS. He should have skipped the nachos. |
| Low price $500,000 |
Item NYY439288-SP: Now that Hank is in charge, we can't depend on a leaky bladder for easily marketed memories, but his carton-a-day habit does provide plenty of aspirated lung tissue for savy souvenir hunters! These are actual tar-and-nicotine saturated alveolae from the Steinbrenner family lungs. As he coughs uncontrollably Hank has been known to order Cashman to make trades, fire Torre, and lick his boots.
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Authentic Game Coughed Hunk of |
| From the same lungs that spewed near microscopic particles of foul-smelling disgustingness into Jennifer Love Hewitt's pert mouth, every chunk has been authenticated by independent labs located in the Bay area. |
| Low price $199 |
Item NYY346-SP: Discovered by construction workers in the farthest corner of George Steinbreiner's former office, mere steps from the actual Gates of Hell, this is the body of the immortal, although sadly mortal, George Herman Ruth. No, doesn't ring a bell? Come on, even the most pathetic of all pseudo-Yankee fans has heard of Babe Ruth. Go away. Get in your Lexus and drive into the Harlem River.
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Authentic Game Used Body of |
| The result of a failed experiment bankrolled by The Boss back in 1990 when the Yankees were losing 90 games and had only three corporate accounts. Babe Ruthenstein would look great in a den or game room. |
| Low price $1.2 million |
Help a guy out. I still need rancid items for John Sterling, Donny Baseball, Horace Clarke and any other Yankee you despise.* You suggest 'em I'll write 'em up and do the all the tough photoshopping.
*No Thurman Munson jokes please.